And as the tear drips from my eye
and as the sweat streaks down my brow
and as the blood trickles from my cut
I know you could never understand
And as your words pierce my heart
and as there glares tear my soul
and as her laugh slams my ears
I know you could never understand
For how could one so beautiful
feel what I feel
and how could one so wise
feel the way I feel
and how could on so liked
feel how I feel
Maybe one day the ugliest duckling
will turn into a swan
maybe one day the butterfly
will come out of it'd cocoon
and fly away to find somewhere else
thank you Insomnia, laced with sorrow
2 comments:
Actually I really like this one! It's the first one I've read that I could really believe as a good song. The repetition of "Feel...I feel" in the middle is well-done, and the last verse has a great semi-rhyme (swan/cocoon). Worse points were the word "slams" which sticks out unpleasantly (among "cut, tear, streak, trickle, pierce, it just sounds hard and sudden). Also the last line might be better without "find", consider it.
"laced with sorrow" woot
wow, I never actually imagined this one as a song
Post a Comment